All week I’ve been thinking tomorrow is Friday—actually I was so sure today was Friday—and tomorrow really is Friday and I totally forgot about my Friday post. So here I am at 8:45 Thursday night, just jawing about nothing. (Don’t you love when people say 8:45 p.m. at night? As if there is another 8:45 p.m.? Major pet peeve. But more on that another day.)
Clearly it’s time for a vacation, and I’m taking one next week. Man do I need it. It’s been the year from Hell, starting with a frightening diagnosis for my son Matthew last Halloween, one that constantly lurks in the background. Then of course my aunt, who would be my favorite even if she weren’t my only aunt, was diagnosed with terminal cancer in late February and died in June. It was a particularly rough death for her and hard on everyone, but especially on my cousins. It still is hard to get my hands around the fact that she’s gone. I also had that bad breakup with Mike in March, which pushed me over the edge, temporarily at least. On top of all that, my own aging parents are having a range of difficulties, which probably doesn’t stress me nearly as much as it stresses them, but it’s something else to worry about, on top of my three kids and their needs.
Not that all is woe and misery. I’ve always been fortunate to have wonderful friends who support me in so many ways, not the least of which has been keeping me in gigs. (Thank you, Miranda.) And I do have an especially nice new friend who puts a smile on my face just about every day. So despite the rocky time, I have kept my little chin up, definitely with help from my friends.
I don’t have any real plans for my vacation, but I’m hoping to spend a lot of time in water—in the ocean and lakes—and some time on water in a kayak, canoe, or sailboat. That’s what summer’s for, and there seems to be precious little time for any of that. I can already see that the days are getting shorter, and I’m feeling a sense of panic that I won’t get to the beach before the summer’s over.
Equally important, I need a week when I don’t have to think about taking care of anyone or anything. I feel like I am always on call to someone, either at home or at work. I can’t tell you how I crave that feeling of being free from everything, from responsibility and from worry. (Matthew was supposed to have bloodwork this week at camp to check his liver enzymes, and while I know it should be fine, there’s an unfortunate history of interrupted vacations and endless drives between camp and MGH. Just one more day without a phone call, and I just may be clear…)
I also hope to get some writing done for the blog, but I don’t think I’m going to set my mind to marketing. It’s just too depressing to think about, because I hate doing it, I’m bad at it, and nothing I’ve tried so far has done any good at all. Writing=fun. Marketing=chore.
In any case, I do hope to come back to you rejuvenated and not so whiney. Man, I hate the sound of my own whining. I’m an optimist by nature…just need to refill the freakin’ cup every once in a while.
Have a great weekend,